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Monday, June 25, 2018

~What is God Calling You To?~

Who else struggles with this question....daily as I seem to do? Many thoughts swirl around this little brain of mine as to what my "call" is. 

I know the obvious answers are wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend...all the things... but what if there is more that I'm not listening to?

I think I struggle with this since the callings to Madeline, Janie and Carly were obnoxiously loud! I went through all the questioning of God and searching, always coming back to the very loud YES! GO! NOW!

Home with Janie for six years and Carly settled in with us for almost four years, I am just now starting to embrace their growing up years. I think I have been peeking out from under the blankets waiting for God to call us again...to what I don't know? Maybe I'm afraid of what He will require? Maybe I'm bored and need more requirements of myself? I can't imagine that I'm actually bored ha!

After years of hard calling, and it is still hard some days, I have become somewhat restless in the silence after resounding loudness. 

Do you want to know what I am learning?

"Enjoy the quiet and serve well where you are" I hear him gently tell my heart.
Those thoughts are also gently unnerving to this busy mind of mine.

Years ago I struggled with these feelings as well when I was stuck on crutches for three months. It was SO hard for me to be a good patient and be STILL! The verse on repeat in my mind during those months was "He says, Be still and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth." Psalm 46:10  ....it is not up to anything I can do for God for Him to be exalted. I learned that truth slowly and in angst as I had to let my people help with everything around me in that time of still.

That same verse is on repeat in my mind along with 
"Serve wholeheartedly, as if you were serving the Lord, not people." Ephesians 6:7  
Again I am learning this truth slowly and in angst. I forget that I am serving the Lord when I am irritated with childish behavior in my children and in myself ha! I am learning that I am being called each and every minute to serve God and only God...not myself!