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Saturday, February 24, 2018

~Madeline~

Psalm 37:5 "Commit your way to the Lord. Trust in Him and He will act."

I don't know about you, but I struggle in the faith and trust department more than I care to admit.  I love God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit (as Janie says, she never leaves out the entire trinity:) with all my heart and soul, yet I have doubt in areas of my life I can't control. I worry about the future, I worry about being a good mother, wife, writer, worshipper....yeah, I worry too much and want to please too much. 

One of the areas of my life where the struggle is REAL and RAW is with my sweet Madeline. I worry about her going to 6th grade, how she will handle it, will she be able to handle all the social things all girl, will she relapse....the list can go on for miles. You get it, I am concerned about the upcoming teenage years....but God isn't. I pray for my girl each and every day, in her comings and her goings....so why in the world do I continue to worry, doubt, think the other shoe may drop....

I know and believe with all my heart that God is real, powerful, holy and sovereign...yet that bit of fear creaps in. 

Then God did something I never imagined could happen. Madeline hopped in the car one day after school and said she wanted to play lacrosse this Spring. Say what???? She is scared to try any and everything new because she is afraid she will not be good enough, perfect enough....all the enoughs.
I honestly thought she may change her mind! However, I continued to encourage her, tell her how proud we are for her interest and desire to try something new, and all the "you can do this" talk. She has not backed away. She has gone to three practices and played her first game today (that I had to miss because I'm where you would expect....a swim meet, which I would not want to miss either, it's called divide and conquer:). 

Carly has been all over this new interest of Madeline's since she has played since she was in 6th grade and got to share that time with her dad...he was an awesome lacrosse coach. Anyway, she gave Madeline her lacrosse stick and has started giving Madeline all the info she needs to get started. 

Carly came to support sweet Madeline at her first game today and cheer her on  (so thankful she is in college in town...just sayin...). Madeline DID IT. She played a lacrosse game. And best of all...Hank says she loved it! I get to see her play tomorrow whoop whoop!

Hank sent me this sweet picture after the game....it made my day.

This picture represents so much of who God is and why I need to let go of this needless worry of mine. Sweet Carly... brought to our family through the tragic loss of both her parents....Madeline brought to our family for the exact same reason. And God....look what he does! It is through Carly that God gave Madeline the confidence to think maybe she could play lacrosse like her big sister. She spent  many hours at fields watching Carly play during her senior year. Only God uses things that are right in front of us to show his glory. 

The best part??? God does miraculous and awesome things despite my lack of faith and trust. He is giving me a little high five today reminding me that He is in control and I never will be....He is awesome like that! I'm thankful for the grace and mercy He has shown this worrisome believer:)
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