Sunday, January 7, 2018

~2018 Goals~

I have been mulling over goals I have for myself this year and keep coming back to one
"be thankful"

As I grow older and am beginning to embrace "old age" I can see the advantages of being past my younger years.  Just a few months ago I realized I am no longer middle aged. You know how you are driving along and your mind wanders over all kinds of tangents?? I was thinking about middle age as I believed myself to be and added 54 together and to my shock realized I don't have a prayer of living until I am 108. I laughed out loud in my car, all by myself, and quickly texed Hank when I got to my destination, "did you know we are no longer middle aged seeing as we can't live until we are 108 years old?" His answer was short and sweet "yes". I was still laughing....

All this to say I am beginning to embrace and look for the lovely in old age...not that I am really "old' but I am begining to see how others see me. The other day I was getting ready at the gym and talking to a few of the other of kids etc....a woman I don't know asked me how old my girls are....when I answered 8 and 10....she smiles and goes about her business. I could see the wheels turning in her head "what the heck....she does not look like she should have an 8 and 10 year old" so she chose to say nothing and smile at me. I was laughing inside as I'm beginning to clearly see that I'm not the norm with an 8 and 10 year old. I am beginning to enjoy the funny. 

Janie was invited by one of her friends to play at Get Air before Christmas break. I sat and talked with her friends Mom as they played. We both laughed when she told me she is 30 and I told her "so is my oldest daughter." As I am now the matriarch of my family it looks that I am the same for Janie's classmates and parents ...seeing as many of them could be my children as well haha!

All this to say I will be looking for the lovely in 2018 and focusing on being thankful, not tired and old. 

~a few things I love about being older~

I understand I'll never "get there" as far as conquering my sin...I'm always going to need Christ and will not "get better" in conquering my sin on my own.

I understand I don't have to be perfect to be a Christian as the world believes Christians should be...I can continue to be perfected in Christ.

I love love love that tomorrow is a new day, I get to start all over each day.

I am keenly aware of the passage of sweet Gramma was right, time goes by much more quickly as we age.

I am learning to teach my children instead of doing everything for them and I don't feel guilty about it this time around.

I have mercy for those that don't understand...

I have mercy for those who think they know everything...

I can apologize and own my sin instead of making excuses for myself..
A perfect example of this.....yesterday I was putting groceries away as Hank and the kids were getting their chick fila lunches out of the bags. I feel rushed, everyone is talking to me, Hank asks multiple times about ranch dressing "did you get it?" "do we have any?" "didnt you get my text?" and I answered sharply "I don't know if we have any" wanting to say "find it yourself" but I held my tongue on that part ha! As I went to the table with my food after all the groceries were put up, I told him I was sorry for answering so sharply. John David procedes to tell Hank how I spoke sharply to him the day before when I was rushed as I was asked to put a number in the phone but could not read it and asked for his help. I had already apologized to him but apologized again saying " I need to not talk when I'm rushed by others and specifically Dad as he bullet questions me". John David did not miss a beat and said "you need to answer more quickly". I spit out my food I laughed so hard. It is a joy to own our mistakes and laugh at them instead of being mad and defensive! We all got a good laugh at mine and Hank's expense. 

That brings me to my last one....
I love love love love being vulnerable with my kids instead of thinking I have all the answers. I don't remember apologizing to my big kids seeing as I thought my behavior was justified, it wasn't. Age and a long relationship with Christ has more advantages than youth. I could not go back!

In closing the things I am thankful for

I'm thankful this old body is healthy
I can exercise
I still have young kids at home
I get to live that life that includes younger children and older ones
my husband adores me even though I answer sharply at times
I adore him even though he bullet questions me ha
the little things every day....

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