Thursday, June 29, 2017

~Summer Happenings~ overload:)

Last night Hank pointed out that I have not updated the blog lately...
yes he is the only one that reads this hahaha

Our summer has been going well
and crazy of course like it is for everyone:)

Let's start with Janie first....she is always entertaining
Janie and I have gotten to have a few solo lunches together while Madeline has been at camp and John David was volunteering one week..
this girl can put away an adult Chinese meal:)

she has been swimming her little heart out at practices and meets

this little relay team has done so well together!

but my favorite so far from her was the text she sent me after a melt down one day

hahahaha, also can I have my ipad... too funny!!

Janie eats boiled eggs almost every morning while Evie patiently sits watching her😇

Now to Carly...
she went to Uganda on a mission trip with some of her friends

she had an amazing experience with these kiddos and made lifetime friends!

Next up John David....
He was a swimming fool the first month after school let out...2 practices a day and a few meets

then off to Camp with his friends for 2 weeks...
my goodness they are so grown up!!!!

and lastly miss Madeline!
she is all about these 2....

she is obsessed with Evie (well, we all are for that matter)
Evie must ride with me to pick her up from camp:)

these 2 swim most every night!
how's this for a poolside dinner??:)

and lastly our big ole corn harvest
I am getting heart palpitations just thinking about it
only not really funny then!

All the big kids came over to help shuck and then swam with girls while we started cutting.
and thanks for Kendyl for documenting:) I had to steal these off her IG

notice Carly liking these, she is happy in Uganda haha

these crazies make it look so fun


Hank, Madeline and I cut corn from the cob for about 4 hours that afternoon...
Hank tried a new recipe for curing the corn instead of boiling and putting in ice water then cutting off


for a person that does not even like corn or the smell of it I started off as a fan....
I became NOT a fan sometime around the 5th hour of working

we soaked cups and cups and cups of the cut off kernels in sugar/salt water for 20 minutes a batch...
putting about 2 cups with the liquid into freezer baggies
all was going well til we noticed liquid all over the counter and floor
(think apple juice poured on your counter and floor)😈
we thought just a few bags opened....resealed and wiped up "juice"

During this Hank got an emergency call so the girls and I took all the bags out to the freezer in the garage, about 100 exaggeration!

I clean off counters and floor for about 45 minutes and am DONE!
I sit on my rear end on the porch for a bit with a glass of wine ha

 all the while Hank starts boiling the cobs he wants to put up
I'm not feeling very sorry for him since I cleaned everything up ....

 my enjoyment of the moment was short lived, I decide I do feel bad for him and come back in to help him bag the cobs and put in freezer
this is the moment I was pushed to the critical level of "DONE"

I open the freezer to discover said "juice" leaking all in the freezer and onto the garage floor....
I think I may have said a few choice words at this point and got dizzy and hot all over at once hahaha

now just picture me not saying a word....stomping into the house, grabbing towels, water and more baggies
I don't remember because my head and my heart went black for a bit
  I'm quite certain Hank heard lots and lots of sighing....just guessing....and a few choice words as well??? I'm claiming the blackness all around me as an excuse ok??

Anyway I proceed to dump out all these apple juice bags on the garage floor and sit down to DOUBLE BAG each and every one... 

here is a reference point for you
yes that is frozen "juice" on the bottom
yes that is corn in the doors
and yes the corn goes all the way to the back of the freezer

 In the meantime Hank is inside still boiling and bagging cobs,
at one point while I was rebagging Hank walks out and timidly asks me something
(makes me laugh out loud typing that)
he said I looked up at him and he thought I was crying since my eyes were so red only to realize I was not crying...just mad hahahaha
he went back inside!!
I'm crying laughing now while typing!

He came back out a bit later and asked what he could help me with...
I think I gave him a one word response
yes we had to hose the garage floor before calling it a night
by this time I think it was after 9...

we were both laughing about it as we went to bed but as of this minute I am not helping next year
my black heart and head need time to heal
we'll see what happens until then haha!

Friday, June 2, 2017

~My Hesitation~

I received an email yesterday about the death of a mother of one of Janie’s friends. I am always frozen in place when I hear of the death of a parent. My heart goes out to the parent left behind and the children. I immediately am taken back to that hard stand still time that we went through after Jeff died. I want to help and reach out but I always hesitate…

I have a gut reaction that my experience does not count seeing as I met Hank and was remarried less than a year after Jeff’s death. That fact makes me feel unworthy of reaching out to someone….as if I do not count, my life was “fixed” too quickly…

What I do know is that I was and am still heartbroken over Jeff’s death, the utter destruction it had on our little family of 5. We lost our family on that day and it has never been the same. However in the worlds eyes my family has continued to thrive.

Yes this enormous family of mine is thriving, we are blessed in more ways than I could have ever imagined during that dark time in my life. Yet I discount what I lost because of the enormous blessings God has given me. Actually my basic emotion towards these blessings is guilt. Why would God give me so much more, why would He give me bravery to move past fears and go all the way to China 2 times??

I don’t know the answers but I do know I hesitate because I feel unworthy, I did not do “my time”…who came up with the token amount of time one can marry after a death anyway? I don’t know that answer either.

I do know that I am heartbroken for this sweet family….a family that will never be the same again. All the dreams they had together on the day they married will not be realized and that is heartbreaking.

I can answer to the fact that God is real and in charge. He created each of us for His purposes.  Our lives will always be changing on this earth but He has promised us that He is unchanging and will never leave us. That is enough for me. 

Psalm 102: 25-27
Of old you laid the foundation of the earth, and the heavens are the work of your hands. They will perish, but you will remain; they will all wear out like a garment. You will change them like a robe, and they will pass away, but you are the same, and your years have no end.