Wednesday, April 27, 2016

Years Collide

April 27, 2012

16 years since the day Jeff passed from this earth into heaven
Jeff and I married in 1984....we were married almost 16 years
Hank and I married in 2001....we have been married almost 16 years

I was dwelling on these facts this morning and could only visualize waves crashing
the ebb and flow 
the crashing
the absolute beauty of it all

In 2000 I was left behind to pick up the pieces of my life alone with my 3 kiddos
~so jealous that Jeff knew what heaven and glory feels like, the sweet relief to be with Jesus~
yet I got to see my children grow into awesome adults
I get to see God's glory and beauty on this earth

I don't understand God's ordination of our days
but I know it is true
my days are ordained by God
for some reason I am still on this earth, still raising children
(yeah He has a sense of humor too)
so many things I will never understand...

what I do understand is that our time on this earth is fleeting
like shadows moving and changing
waves ebbing and crashing
slight in comparison to our time in eternity

I pray I will use my time well...
I tend to get caught up in the simple mundane tasks of my day
or become swallowed by the difficult emotional days
the ebb and flow of these days on earth...
I pray that God will give me clarity of mind to grasp my need
of Psalm 46:10
  Be still and know that I am God

Julianne posted on instagram one of the songs sang at Jeff's funeral

says it all

Saturday, April 16, 2016


Goodness this child of mine is 
never a dull moment
so much more than words

she looks so grown up!!


goodness I am thankful God woke me up at all hours of the night
worried about this child.....and then blessed me to be her Mom!

Princesses are Priceless...

ok so I forgot to ever post the princess pics from Disney!!!

oh my I am ready to go back now just to see the looks on these girls faces!!
I am so sad that I forgot to click my band to the photographer with Belle:( oh well!!!

Saturday, April 2, 2016

~Happy Birthday John David~

My second born son is 14 today!
the verse that comes to mind today is

Ephesians 3:20
Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine,
according to his power that is at work within us

As I drove John David to swim practice today I expressed how thankful I am for him
and what a miracle he truly is....
I had a tubal ligation after Julianne's birth at the "full of wisdom" age of 28
having 3 children in 3 and a half years Jeff and I decided we were done....
since I was so young I was asked by the nurses and 2 doctors
numerous times
~while on the operating table I might add~
"are your sure???"
in my youth and ignorance I answered "cut them and ship them to China"
oh how God must have cackled and rubbed his hands together in delight
as he thought about my future:) 

As I told John David this morning 
I am the Queen of "never say never"
every single friend of mine will agree 

Well God
in his enormous grace and mercy blessed me with Hank after losing Jeff 
and gave me an enormous desire to have another child...
after having another surgery in which I was asked
 "are you sure?"
by my husband this time:)
I was able to get pregnant at the ripe old age of  39

that makes me laugh now that I thought I was old as the hills at 39
then celebrated my 49th birthday in China while adopting Janie
Yes I do believe God has had so much fun with my life
and I am so very blessed because of it!

So HAPPY BIRTHDAY to this special boy
who is quickly growing into a man!

love this pic so much
the perfect example that we never know what God is up to 
He is able to do immeasurably more than we can ask or imagine
He puts the lonely in families
His grace is sufficient