Thursday, January 31, 2013

A Day In The Life......

This is what I saw when I glanced at the door 5 minutes after I had let Goldbug out
my first thought was 
"I didn't think it rained last night....
why is she so wet??"

the smell....
started wafting in the house
with the doors closed.....

funny, this is what was on my counter from homework last night...

I went back to the bathroom to let Hank know he had a new job this morning
It never entered my mind that I would clean her!
I know, I'm a brat.....
Hank was getting ready to catch a flight later in the morning...
so he was out.....
can you imagine having to sit next to the guy who had to clean his skunk infested dog
in a closed airplane?????? 
This is one of those times.... 
when your husband is a veterinarian works to your advantage,
he calls one of his employees and offers
to come take said dog to the clinic
to bathe, bathe again and again
and again!
Poor Lisa was still laughing this afternoon....
thankfully she did not quit her job
She said she could smell it as she turned on our street:)
The plan is one more bath in the morning 
and she will be able to come home again!

The house still smells like skunk....
who knew it could last all day
even when the dog did not enter the house.....
again, who knew????

Sunday, January 27, 2013

It's a Steep Learning Curve......

for me!!!!! I am taking an online photography class and it is kicking my booty. I had to call in the forces yesterday and get Gardner and Kendyl to explain a few things......I am starting to "get" some of it....kinda.
Here are a few that actually turned out ok, I can't wait to play with them in lightroom!

I don't like the color in this one but I actually got her in motion and the background out of focus....

I have not had "homework" in many years
and I was not a procrastinator in those years
I did not have kids then either ha!
I hope I don't put this weeks homework off until the last day!!!
It is apparent from my pictures that Janie and the dogs are my only willing participants:)
Janie asked me to "do homework" all morning:)

Ivy Joy Benefit!!!

Georgia Grace is having a benefit in honor of Ivy Joy starting tomorrow:)
Just click on the link on my sidebar in the morning to see all the goodies that are up for the raffle!!
Let's help raise some more money for "our" girl!!

Saturday, January 26, 2013

Biopsies and Such......

I'm only sharing this because I need to have my thoughts down to come back to see some day. I wish I had kept a journal when Jeff was sick so I could look back and see more of our life at that time......I hesitate in sharing this because I know someone or someone they love has just been diagnosed with cancer and it is hard to read that someone else got better news......all the whys are so strong in the beginning.....
Jeff came to the understanding of why he was diagnosed with "why not me?"..........only God knows the "whys".........I struggle with questioning "why" when life goes right sometimes as well........

All my family and friends know that I talk too much…..I am pretty much “what you see is what you get” kind of person. I talk too much therefore, you pretty much know what is going on in my life even if you don’t want to J  If I get quiet there is usually too much going on in my head, too much to process, too overloaded…..

This past month I have been quieter than usual. I went in for my 3rd 6 month mammogram the week before Christmas. I have been having diagnostic mammograms for a while due calcifications. I have not worried for one second about them since I have been told they are benign in nature so I was merely na├»ve about it all. Well, I began to worry at this last visit when I was told I needed a biopsy. I started out with a stereotactic biopsy before Christmas that was unsuccessful and then was scheduled for a lumpectomy a week ago. I waited until Tuesday to get the news that it is benign…….deep breath of relief.

As I look over this past month what I feel most is relief but also wonder why I was spared having to go through it all.....not so much the fear of dying in this case but the fear of all the uncertainty that surrounds a diagnosis of cancer. I have lived through all that and more when Jeff was diagnosed with brain cancer in 1992. This was a little too close to home for me. The first bit of anxiety I felt was too familiar and sent me to a place I don’t allow myself to go in most cases. I have become an” underreactor” (not thinking that is a word) in most cases due to worrying my life away for years. I finally learned not to worry until you are given something tangible to worry about. Well, I sure did not do that this time……I went there and back. I became quite certain that God was going to allow me to go through this time with breast cancer, simply because “why not me?” as Jeff used to say. I’m really not a fatalist……I truly had a strong sense that is was true probably because I have lived it before……I know what getting that call with bad news feels like……the hours and days after that you try to wrap you mind around it……..
After all these years it is still very real and vivid to me……a very large part of who I am, the person that learns to deal with adversity and try to make the best of it even though I fail miserably at times.

All this to say now I feel guilty…….why was I spared and the other 3 women who were having lumpectomies on the same day may not have been???

You know what bothered me the most?  The not knowing and the fear of what was to come……I did not pray once for it not to be cancer. Why???? I’m not sure….probably because I believe that God already knew and “it is what it is”. I did pray for peace which he gave me in intervalsJ. Mostly I was anxious unless occupied! It was a long month that I’m thankful to be on the other side of. To say I am thankful and relieved is an understatement…..

Man's days are determined; you have decreed the number of his months and have set limits he cannot exceed. Job 14:5

This verse gave me such peace when Jeff died. I went through months of thinking of all the wrong medical decisions we had made. In the end I learned it did not matter, we did the best we could with what we were given….God was in control all along…… as he is now and will be forever more. 

Thursday, January 24, 2013

The Rest of Madeline's Birthday!

We celebrated Madeline's 6th birthday at Pump It Up. She was so excited to have her class and a few other friends.....

the excitement is evident:)

even her sister and brother can't contain themselves

yes, that is a doll crown that she insisted needed to be worn during the party:)

I don't have enough pics of the big kids with me now!


I think all the men made it through the party...

Sara has come to every one of Madeline's birthday parties when she is not away at school!

think they were getting a little tired of entertaining and running away from girls!

Madeline and her new friend Mallory

Now this is so funny
Hank and Julianne decided to race the course...
Hank was quite confident he would win
he saw Julianne's ankle above him
so of course he pulled her down!

their faces tell it all
she knew that little cheater was going to beat her!!!

I say she still won!!!

the artist at work on her brother
cracks me up that John David goes to Allie to have his face painted with icing!
look at Julianne's expression of confusion in the background haha

last shot:)
some kiddos had already gone home before I remembered to get a pic...
I love how Madeline has her hand on Carson's head and Carson is leaning into her
makes me smile....

says it all......
she was a happy little 6 year old that night:)

there is a reason that sweet Janie and Gardner aren't in any pics:(
She still had a fever and Gardner "volunteered" to stay with her:)

Monday, January 21, 2013

A Glimpse....

of Madeline's 6th birthday......

this child will be 6 years old tomorrow
I truly cannot put all I feel for her into words..
she works me like no other
to gain her trust
her love
but I am hers completely
and forever
she can work my emotions from angst to pure joy in an instant
the incredible deep look into my eyes.....
that stills my heart
she holds my eyes as she cries as if searching to see if I really love her like I say
she tests me in ways I've never been tested
she has to know...
that I am hers
for always

My dear Madeline
on your 6th birthday
I give to you my complete love again
as I will every day of your life
some day....
you will trust completely
as we love you completely

Happy Birthday my precious daughter
We love you as big as the sky and the clouds......

Saturday, January 12, 2013

Wonderful Sweet Blessing....

Ivy Joy News:)

Now that is what I call a sweet blessing from God:)

Lots of Thoughts.....

Where were you when I laid the earth's foundation? Tell me, if you understand. Who marked off its dimensions? Surely you know! Who stretched a measuring line across it? On what were its footings set, or who laid its cornerstone-  Job 38:4-6

My thoughts have been all over the place lately while praying and waiting for news on Ivy Joy. This little girl has touched so many of us all over the world. When she became ill again last week my first thought was "God, what in the world are you up to?  Don't you know they have been through enough already?" Suffering is hard to watch let alone the ones who are the recipients of it.....

Back when Jeff was so sick and we both felt as if God was throwing us around daily, I started reading Job......God took me to an understanding that I will NOT ever understand what He is up to. I came to know that some things are reserved for God and God alone. This time is just that, reserved for God and God alone.

Most of us cannot imagine what their family is actually experiencing..... but God does and we have all watched how He is carrying them through. The words that Mary wrote before sending her child off to surgery yet again will forever be in my heart. It is apparent that God has His chosen Mommy of Ivy right in His hands. 

All that to say, lets keep on begging our God to bless this precious child and family we have all come to love. May His blessings upon them be greater than we can hope or imagine!

As of right now Ivy Joy is off bypass after LONG surgery, amen to that once again and praying for more miracles as the day continues!

Tuesday, January 8, 2013

Sweet Ivy Joy......

It is with a heavy heart that I ask you to
please lift up our Ivy Joy in prayer...
she and her family have had a rough couple of days
and are on their way back to Boston tomorrow
via air ambulance
also please pray specifically for Lexi
she is about to be without her Mom again.....
so much for this precious family to go through....

please link to Mary's blog for specifics....

Friday, January 4, 2013

A Birthday, A Tooth, Playing With Princesses...And My 300th post!.

We celebrated Allie's 25th birthday on the 1st. I can't believe my baby is older than I was when she was born!!!
"the" pose with her new necklace

first lost tooth
Madeline has woken her Daddy up every.single.night...
for weeks 
getting him to check her loose tooth
thankfully we only have one more night
for her to wake us up...
to tell us that the tooth fairy has come:)

 too many pics to come...
I know
I just could not choose
it was a day that they played well.....
nuff said:)

Tuesday, January 1, 2013

A Year In Pics....


Madeline's birthday


Allie wins an Addy


Meeting Janie

first kiss, a moment I'll never forget

leaving China


Easter Sunday
"am I really part of THIS family?"


Ju and Taylor to China

Janie's birthday


fun in the pool


first step on the beach

meeting new friends in Cincy

some girls love Mr Schube


Julianne's birthday


first day of preschool


kids tri



surgery again

Janie can finally eat!


Thanksgiving and because this just cracks me up!


our "normal" Christmas picture

what a year it has been!!
thankful for it all!